Fanfic & Sims: The Importance of Playing Around

It's a common experience for a lot of writers, myself included, to go through frustrating periods of low motivation, low creativity, and general apathy toward writing. It happens. It's not a bad thing, and it doesn't make anyone a poor writer, but it can feel like a total soul-suck.

I could feel myself starting to go through one of those periods awhile back, when all I wanted to do was play video games and not think about anything--much less my own stories. So I did, and fell further into a pit of frustration because now I felt guilty for not writing when I clearly had the time.

But working on my original content still felt like pulling teeth.

I think it was my boyfriend who first suggested I start writing fanfic. I've been playing Skyrim since it came out, and in that time I've developed a lot of headcanons, and after awhile those headcanons began to develop into a coherent narrative surrounding mine, my wife's, and my boyfriend's OCs.

So in the downtime at work one day, I started scribbling down the beginnings of what is now Triumvirate--which I'm still enjoying and updating over a year later. I've also written two other Skyrim fanfics, Prophecy's End and Speak to Me Now and the World Will Crumble. I'm immensely proud of them, and they keep me feeling excited about writing even when it's hard to figure out what to do in my own original universes.

Fanfic writers have always told me that fanfic keeps them feeling creative even when OC is hard, but I never really thought it would work for me. I was definitely wrong. I don't feel like I'm neglecting my writing with fanfic, I still feel like I'm producing something worthwhile--because I absolutely am. Sometimes it's hard to feel passionate about my original worlds, but I am never--ever--not going to be passionate about Tamriel.

Another thing in a similar vein that's helped me keep creative even through slumps is the Sims fandom on tumblr, known as Simblr. Since The Sims is essentially a massive dollhouse for people to plop original characters, it's become common practice for Simmers to post screenshots of their games along with captions telling stories. Sometimes they're just simple one-off scenes, sometimes the stories go on for months or longer.

The stories I've been telling on my Simblr, while simple, have been a lot of fun, and keep Sims from becoming a mindless time-eater that leaves me feeling guilty over not doing anything creative. But at the same time, it's still endless fun and doesn't feel like a chore, the way writing can sometimes feel.

At the end of the day, for me, the fanfiction and Sims stories are worthwhile on their own, but they also leave me feeling inspired and pumped up to work on original content. So when it comes time to sit down and bang out my daily goal of 500 words, it's not as much of a struggle.

"Just writing anyway" has never helped me break through creative slumps. "If you don't write, you'll never publish anything" just makes me anxious. But the "frivolous," "silly" projects? They keep me going. It doesn't matter if it's not wholly original, it doesn't matter if I can't sell it, it doesn't matter if it's not "groundbreaking." It's fun free writing, born out of something I genuinely care about.

And if the comments I keep getting on both are anything to go by, having fun has made my writing stronger.

Until next time,
Jenn.

Compassion Fatigue

Plenty of creatives have been talking for months about the palpable anxiety permeating creative circles since the last presidential election. There's a constant stream of new, worse news, and those involved in activism have hardly had a break. Compassion fatigue has long since set in hardcore, and even those who know they need a break are stuck feeling like they can't take one.

It sucks. It really, really sucks.

I know plenty of writers who say they haven't had a solid period of creativity in months because they're just so goddamn exhausted from daily life on top of social justice stress. I'm honestly right there with them. I am a queer, transgender, disabled person, and it's hard to feel free to be creative and playful when you've got to have an eye over your shoulder so damn often.

I'm not here to present an easy answer with a soundbite title. I can't. If I could figure that out, I'd be much better off and way less stressed. But what I am here to do is say this:

You aren't alone. You aren't. There are so many people dealing with the same thing, who understand how it feels.

The way I've been coping is to keep reminding myself that no one person is responsible for the fight. It's a collective effort, and I am allowed to take a step back to take care of myself when I need to. Others will still be there, doing what I can't handle just now.

It may mean taking a week away from Twitter and replacing Twitter Time with reading a fun book. It may mean limiting the time I spend in activism circles. It may mean standing up and saying, "this is important, but I can't right now," and enforcing that boundary even when I feel guilty about it.

But it's a needed thing. We're all facing burnout, which is exactly what the enemies out there want. They want us to run ourselves into the ground and stop fighting.

Taking a break when you need it is not giving up. Taking a break is taking care of yourself, so you can renew yourself and come back at it later with renewed spirit. But more than that, you don't exist to fight these battles. They're important and necessary, but you are not solely responsible for fighting the world's ills. You are allowed to have a life outside of that, and should.

Taking a step back is not letting the rest of us down. Taking a step back is how you have a well-rounded life that keeps your soul from dying the slow death of compassion fatigue.

So, please. Take a step back when you need it. Breathe. The fight's still going to be there when you come back, and you can't fight at all if you've run yourself into the ground.

Until next time,
Jenn.